Casting Doubt: 50 Shades of Grey

I want to make this clear, the piece is entirely speculative. I have heard no serious ideas of who should play the sexy, and sexually…adventurous role of Christian Grey in the inevitable movie adaptation of the bestselling mommy porn 50 Shades of Grey. But while a coworker and I were discussing the book in a totally work approriate way, we began talking about a multitude of hot men who could be in the running for this role. Our wild, uninformed, and potentially laughable ideas are below, and only maybe half serious. A lot of these ideas vary wildly based on the potential rating of this film. Also, I’m sure that the darker aspects of the Christian Grey character; like the creepy, misogynistic, stalkery, abusive-in-the-dangerous-way stuff, will be toned down as they aim for sexy. Keeping  all that in mind:

Andrew Garfield: Coming off the high of “The Amazing Spider-Man”, this would be a major departure for the young actor. In the plus column he’s approximately age appropriate, can (kinda) pull off suave (see “The Social Network”), and has been beat up on screen so he can be sympathetic to his costar. On the minus side, as with most actors, the “hardcore” nature of the source material might prove too intididating.

Garrett Hedlund: While Hedlund tends towards a variety of roles, he’s yet to be proven a “leading man.” His last big release, 2010’s “Tron: Legacy,” was terrible but Hedlund was generally good in it. May be too beefy to play Grey.

Eric Bana: Too old, yes. I know. But certainly smooth and sexy. Might be a good Dad for Christian…?

Liam Hemsworth: From too old to too young. Hemsworth has the requisite sexiness but his youth coupled with his appeal to the tween demo would make this a near impossible role to take even if he wanted it. Which he doesn’t. But his fiancé as Ana…

Channing Tatum: Another actor who likes variation, but getting the world to buy the muscle boy as an obnoxiously cultured billionaire CEO would be a hard sell. As we’ve seen though he could pull off the romance. And after “Magic Mike” we know sexualized content is not verboten

Ryan Gosling: Um, I know this is a semi serious article but I could actually see this one working out ok. In fact, if they went with the Christian as written, he would be pretty good too.
Ryan Kwanten: Do I just want to make Kwanten happen? Maybe. He’s hot, and can act. That the acting he’s mostly known for is that of the pretty moron may kill his chances to do anything else. If anything this role is a branch out and if nothing else I’m saying he needs that.
Chris Fountain: Known for his roles on British soaps, Fountain is known for being a “bad boy.” Again youth is his issue, and that I’ve never heard him put on an American accent. But, the source material is a Brit trying to fake American (and succeeding…kinda) so why shouldn’t the casting? And he’s not the only Brit on this list. Speaking of…
Robert Pattinson: Ugh. In all of the actual speculation I’ve seen he’s the front-runner. Not surprising as the story began as “Twilight” fan fiction. Pattinson, is a…good actor in general. I guess.
Ben McKenzie: Best known for his role in “The O.C.”, McKenzie has gotten seriously gritty in his role on “Southland”. We know he can handle the broody, but the sexy, is undetermined
Ian Sommerhalder: Did I mention that this book started as “Twilight” fanfic? ‘Cause it did. I’ll admit I don’t watch “Vampire Diaries” but Sommerhalder’s Damon began the series as the dark slightly evil anti-Edward and for him to slip into the role of Edward analogue would be almost weirdly a casting coup.

Paul Wesley: See above. Replace “anti-Edward” with “Edward”
Kellan Lutz: Hahahahahaha. Seriously though, all he has going for him is his body. His acting is…frankly undetermied as I’ve never seen him do it.
Matt Davis: Also a “Vampire Diaries” alum, Davis at least has a similar…physicality to Grey as described in the book. His ability to provide the menace needed (Grey may be a “romantic hero” but let’s face it, he’s also a creepy emotionally abusive proto-sociopath) is in doubt to me. To me, Davis my be a bit too, um, cuddly for the role
Armie Hammer: Proved himself as twins in “The Social Network”, Hammer is absolutely GORGEOUS and a good actor. He tends to pick really off the wall roles so this would fit that trend. But, and this is true for anyone, this role (depending on how the film is done of course) could make or break (for a while) a career. Hammer, like most on this laughable list, is just on the cusp of breaking.
Taylor Kitsch: I mean, honestly he just needs a hit. After “Battleship” and “John Carter” he just needs a hit badly.
Justin Timberlake: Hey, he was in “Black Snake Moan”. I put nothing past him. And after “Friends with Benefits” sex and nudity are not issues for him.

 

Ok so this list devolved a bit into “hot guys” but you get the gist. Again, the book- which I’ll review soon- is flawed sexed up fanfic with a deeply messed up core couple. That it’s become what is has is frankly shocking. That there’s even TALK of adapting this into a film is almost as laughable as this list. But that’s what happens nowadays so let’s have some fun with it.

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