Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

A new moon is a monthly phase in which the moon is not visible to the naked eye. It'sNm seen as a refresher for the moon, a night off if you will. What this has to do with the doomed and overly intense love of a whiny girl and her vampire I don't know, but there you have it.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the second installment in the newly titled saga. As the quartet of books is now a tween bible and the first film grossed a bazillion dollars last year, Moon spares little time catching up new viewers and simply cuts to the plot, such as it is. Bella loves Edward, Edward fears for Bella's safety, Bella is sad, and Jacob broods.

But, emotions be damned this film is about wolves. Gigantic werewolves. The effects for the wolves are the highlight of this overlong borefest. That and the "wolf pack's" seeming allergy to shirts. Here's the thing: the books this "saga" is based on is about 4,00,000,000,000 pages in 4 books. In that, maybe 30 things actually occur, the rest of the bulk is concerned with brooding, plaintive staring, description, and so very much whining. While several of the 30 things that occur are…interesting-the possible entertainment value is removed by various circumstances up to and including the whining- they are so spaced out that making them into interesting films if difficult. The first film, Twilight, had many adjustments made to the structure of the book to even allow for something to happen in the film. Moon however takes a different tactic- several things are omitted from the book but other things were elongated to…compensate maybe?

This being only the second of four planned films, several things were set up for future movies including a somewhat twist (which isn't really one at all if you've read the book series) ending. Director Chis Weitz- late of the American Pie movies- does an admirable job but languid shots of the forests of Vancouver can only interest you so long during the seemingly endless stretches of nothing occuring in this film.The wolves, which had the biggest marketing push of the entire campaign, don't even make their first appearance until well past the 30-minute mark. Hopefully David Slade, the incoming director of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, can learn from this one and get with his writers soon. As "Eclipse" is in my opinion with weakest book (yes I can rank them, although I found them all to be exceedingly weak), the Eclipse team has a long way to go to wake the audience up and very little source material to go on. Luckily the target audience can easily admire their adoring vampire's sparkling skin for hours on end without feeling they've wasted their parents' $10.   C-


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